Hail, Hail . . .

Text link is here.

Remember,

The Wednesday Penis.

I've run out of flakes.

The Tuesday Flake.

Herewith I present the Tuesday flake. For all of us who just adore sleet.

There has been some comment regarding my likeness to a certain singer. He should be so lucky.

Caption Contest Part Two.

The Monday Flake.

Herewith I present the Monday Flake. For all of us who just love snow.

Caption Contest.

Complete Madgeness.

Casslackalah is a discipline where the practice of sarcasm is the primary focus, although irony, wit, satire and mockery also form part of the school of Casslackalah.
Like you needed me to tell you that.

The discipline was founded by the Guru Jen, some years ago during her time at the Lotus Point Commune. Casslackalah is now nearly the dominant religion of Rhode Island, second only to the Jedi Faith.
Rhode Island is of course famous for being the setting of the movie 'The Wicker Man.'

The Guru Jen is worshipped by most insane people, and she is still hailed as the leading figure of the discipline.
Like you learned something here.

Bear And Grin It.

For our beloved Mr. Dick Small.

Waiting For A Big Ferry.

For Jen.

Crisp Counterpoint.

I crisp at the juxtaposition, the sile banality of it.
How fare you in this ill wind my guest,
these times of ardour and feigned despair
when our souls drag behind us grasping for peace
but are cast aside like Anne Altman's summer wardrobe.

Ah, the music shall free us, and lease our minds to the clouds soaring above the melee, but, but for time of little measure.

Render the memory of it.
Knead it with sweaty palms, taste it.

For when we clamber back into this electro-forsaken reality,
and cry out at the utter futility of the thousand silicon arrows
that descend upon us.

We are lost.

On this battlefield we call work, We are all lost.

Hand Some Trust.

Sometimes in life we face challenges that test us to the limit. Our morals and ethics are pulled until the weak points shear and our hypocrisy shows through.

And so it was today with my principles.
I had to abandon my principles and toss them into the washing machine.

I was sticking to them.

Sans In One Lunatic Land.

I need a hookah!

Pirate.

For Doctor Mom.

Fellow Loaded.

I have a spare 240 volt Mojo if anyone needs it.

October is Mega Mojo Madness Month!

You Too, Can Have Hands Like Mine...

If you drink Fairy Liquid.


For Special K.

Times Are Rough, Two For One.

For Jen.

Hail The Heroes!

Pantalunatic News reports today UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown and European Central Bank Advisor Mr.Dick Small pictured together above, have put into action a radical £500 billion $875 billion rescue package today to restore confidence in the UK banking sector and allow Mr Small to hear his 'stories' on YouTube.

Mr. Small, who has been hailed as a hero of the economy, is said to be the true architect of the G7 proposition to guarantee inter-bank lending on a global scale. Mr. Small may be in the frame to manage the US led global rescue package according to leaks from the office of US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.

Mr. Small was said to have been begged to fly to Iceland and rescue their economy, but declined because he "didn't like fucking snow."

Sans And The City...

Two Thousand years ago, Special K had a guess the mystery item competition and I was a joint winner with Adam Avitable. Special K kindly sent me an adult themed prize which was nice because someday I hope to be an adult. Since my admission in the post below regarding my sole lifetime happy moment in the heady summer heat of July 1983, it is probably apparent that my social intercourse skills are poor & limp. This adult themed prize then, is most welcome, since I have much to learn.

The box of adult bodily goodies contained firstly, an instruction Book on how to please ones Lover titled 'Sexual Energy Ecstasy' that has already tired me out just looking at the illustrations. This is absolutely necessary for me as my idea of foreplay is shouting "Away the Lads!" at the appropriate moment. I have decided not to post any pictures of the illustrations. If you disagree with this decision, you may leave a comment to that effect. Please state clearly your desire to see the illustrations and remember to leave your name so that we all can see who is that desperate.

Secondly, A board game called 'HUMP', in which the final move results in exactly what it says on the tin. The instructions are below.

Special K also sent one pink and green matching penises, that may be pencil erasers, or alternative HUMP game markers.

Click upon penises for enlargement.

A bottle of 'Lights Out' glow in the dark massage lotion, that really does glow in the dark!, very useful for demonstrating how bacteria are spread on a peanut butter sandwich, and shown below, a bottle of 'Ultra Glide' lubricant, which will come in handy for my sticky drawers.



Finally, lubricant sachets of Banana Dickalicious, Raspberry, Tangy Tangerine and Revelation that will be much better than my current lubricant, a knob of butter as preferred by Marlon Brando. Thank you Special K!

Music Was My First Love . . .

This is the 10 Songs that evoke emotion meme set by Miss Alex.

I am a very emotional person. Even now, as I write this, I am crying. And music; Music is a big part of my life, therefore this meme may reveal many deep traits of my personalities. You may not like some of them.

1. A song that brings you back to a happy moment.
I have had only one happy moment in my life that I remember. It lasted for about three minutes in 1983 and no music was involved.

2. A song that feels good when you're angry.
I have never considered this before, therefore I cannot supply a valid answer. Music calms me down when I'm upset or angry. If that is the objective of the question, then I will say that any Eva Cassidy song will calm me down and make me cry.

3. A song that makes you sad.
There are so many songs that make me feel sad. The songs themselves don't make me sad; life makes me sad.
Suzanne Vega: Solitude Standing: Luka.
Eric Clapton: Pilgrim: My Father's Eyes.
Eva Cassidy: Songbird: Fields Of Gold.
Mary-Chapin Carpenter: Come On Come On: Only A Dream.
Eddi Reader: Angels & Electricity: Kite Flyer's Hill.
Judie Tzuke: Secret Agent: Bully.
Paul Williams: Life Goes On: Where Do I Go From Here.
Barbra Streisand: Guilty: Make It Like A Memory.

4. A song you have to change every single time it's on.
A long time ago, I decided that songs I dislike do not make my playlist, therefore all songs I do not like have been removed from my players. If I am in a bar and a song I do not like is being played, I smash the jukbox, rip the speakers from the wall or cleave the MC's decks in half.
I have been expelled from many bars, but going out with me is never dull.

5. A song you can't listen to anymore.
I'm sure there is one, but I can't think of it at present. Maybe it hurts so much that my sub-conscious has buried it deep within my id.

6. A song that a commercial ruined for you.
If there is one, I can't think of it. Most of the music I love is old now, and hasn't been used in commercials for years.

7. A song that never gets old.
Helen Reddy: I am Woman."If I have to, I can do anything. I am strong, I am invincible!"
Hail my Sister, I understand!

8. A drunk - sing - at - the - top - of - your - lungs song.
Mary-Chapin Carpenter: Come On Come On: The Hard Way.
John Miles: Rebel: Music.
Deacon Blue: Raintown: Raintown.
Deacon Blue: Raintown: Dignity.
Don McLean: American Pie: American Pie.

9. A song you've had on your myspace.
I barely manage to post on my Blogs. Myspace is for cool people, not those such as myself.

10. A song you'd get made fun of if people knew you liked.
I get made fun of all the time. I like Jimmy Nail and Bruce Willis. And Tangerine Dream! Does anyone reading this also have any Ramases Albums?


I wrote the piece below when I got my first high capacity MP3 player in 1998. It is still in use and I love it with all my heart.

"Music was my first love, and it will be my last. Music of the future, and Music of the past"
I cannot convey in words the emotion I feel when I listen to this wonderful device. Your Music collection defines you; it is gathered throughout your life and is a most personal and intimate thing. To be able to carry your entire Music collection with you, in your pocket, is not something you can put a price on. It is worth all the money in the world.
"To live without my Music would be impossible to do. Because in this world of troubles, my Music pulls me through."

Words by John Miles.

Negative tag. Too emotional . . .

About Time.

One thousand years ago, Chris at Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps, awarded me an Arte Y Pico Award. I have been cogitating my acceptance and pass forward response for quite some time, 2 months in fact.
And here we are. . .

The rules:
1. You have to pick 5 Blogs that you consider deserve this award through creativity, design, interesting material, and contribution to the Blogger community, no matter of language.
2. Each award should have the name of the author with a link to their Blog.
3. Award winners have to post the award with the name and link to the Blog of the person who gave them the award.
4. Please include a link to the “Arte Y Pico” Blog so that everyone will know where the award came from.
5. Show these rules.

My first Blogger to receive an Arte Y Pico is Janna. Janna is a creative genius with exceptional talents in art and music. Janna has an individual outlook, and posts both various and hilarious on her three personal Blogs and Professional Website.

My second Blogger to receive an Arte Y Pico is Catcuracha. Cat is a talented mural artist with a gift for geometry on her Professional Website . Cat has a passion for Volkswagen vans, decapod crustaceans and Banana Daiquiri cocktails.

My third Blogger to receive an Arte Y Pico is Identity Crisis. Identity is an exceptionally talented photographer and artist. A private and very deep thinking individual, Identity has at least seven Blogs that I know of.
My fourth Blogger to receive an Arte Y Pico is Joe. Joe is also known by his alter ego of Mr. Dick Small and is a very talented artist. A contemplative and deep thinking individual, Joe has at least five Blogs that I know of.
My fifth Blogger to receive an Arte Y Pico is Stepping Over the Junk. Stepping has just completed a number of pieces for her show and is a brilliant artist who does superb work. Stepping also likes to write it all down.

And with that, I thought it might be a good idea to present an award of my own. For her wonderful posts and passionate creativity, I award Stepping the Pantalunatic Award for her exceptional contribution to the creative arts.

I must add that all the descriptions above are my personal perceptions. I have not yet met any of the winners, and hope my descriptions meet with their approval. If any corrections or modifications are required, please leave a comment below and I will expedite.

I also apologise to Chris for taking so damn long.

Where Is Dick Small?

Pantalunatic News reports today that the leaders of Europe's four biggest economies -- Britain, France, Germany and Italy met this week for a European Union Emergency Financial Summit at the Belfry to discuss creating a €300 billion, $417 billion fund to buy Mr. Dick Small a set of speakers for his new laptop.

Mr. Dick Small, well known Entrepreneur, Empresario and Celebrity Blogger, seen above greeting his guest Sans Pantaloons, well known Blogging Millionaire.

Mr. Small, as advisor to the European Central Bank (ECB) complained that he couldn't follow his favorite soaps on YouTube because of the failure of his built-in speakers. US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson was seen on his knees at one point, with his ear to the speakers trying to make them work.
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's office stressed that Mr. Dick Small was the best man to deal with the financial crisis and that a pair of speakers was fair reward for saving the Global Banking System.
Mr. Dick Small was quoted as saying "Woo Hoo!"

I AM.

For Miss Alex.