The Lawman cometh...

My reputation has been ruined. . , severely dented. . , ach, Nobody^TM reads the local paper anyway. This printed today in the Great Glen Gazette.

This has been a Great Day!

A great day indeed. I got this:

The Lady may be a little older than in the video below, but she still cuts the cake.

I say LETS ROCK!

If the large play button doesn't work, please try the smaller one on the bottom left.
If all else fails a text link is here.

Sans meets Black Bart.

It's a tough life being a Cattle Rancher. Today I ran slap bang into Black Bart in the Hoots Mon Saloon. We gave each other the evil eye, which was difficult for me because I couldn't see diddly squat with my sunglasses on. I tried to remember the advice given by The Stranger..."He draws to the left so lean to the right. There's a wind from the east - better aim to the west. He crouches when he shoots so stand on your toes."

It was okay though, I was taller than he in my great hat. He was slightly faster on the draw than I, something to do with being further away from the Earth's core according to my old physics teacher. We both saw the error of our ways, and renounced violence forever. We then had a few beers together at the bar and laughed and sang until closing time.

N.B. This ending appended after test audiences were shocked and appalled at the real ending.

Looks Like Tomatoes.

With the continuing increase in web activity, Google were having some capacity problems so I sold them my Exabyte USB drive.

This gave me sufficient funds to buy my Cattle Ranch.

I have a big hat and a Cattle Ranch. All I need now is some cosmetic surgery to make me look like Barry Manilow and Wendi might show me some tomatoes.

Great Glen Cattle Ranch picture courtesy of Andrew Abernathy.

If you want to get ahead, get a hat.

One good thing that comes with having a big head hat, is that you can be found in a crowd.

Dressed to Kilt Apr 2007.

Images from Dressed to Kilt April 2007 in NY, are now available. Clicking on the graphic above will take you there, should you wish to visit.

Oh to be a Cowboy...

As you may be aware, I have recently aspired to be a cowboy. This is a long and tough journey for me, since I am not a boy and am afraid of cows.
Nevertheless, I have been am committed.

Pictured here, I'm accepting advice from The Stranger. He said get a big hat. And a cattle ranch would be helpful too.

Shopping 3.

I got's me a new hat.

Yes Sireee, It's a big one.

British Standard Whitworth.

For Jen, wishing you well.

Culture - respect.

Text link Click here.

Your choice.

The Model is Marcus Schenkenberg, his website is here.

We are making history.

There are few people who stride this planet as ruler. Here is one of them.

Shopping 2.

I purchased a 17 Exabyte USB drive today.

It's a big one.

This from Amy.

This is taken from Amy, who got it from . . .

* Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP/Whatever on shuffle.* Use the song title as the answer to the question.* NO CHEATING!

I have only some of these immediately available. To download, please right click and save target as. I cannot guarantee this will work.

1. How does the world see me? Woman in Love - Barbra Streisand.
2. Will I have a happy life? The way we were - Barbra Streisand.
3. What do my friends really think of me? What you do with what you've got - Eddi Reader.
4. Do people secretly lust after me? Tucker's Town - Hootie & The Blowfish.
5. How can I make myself happy? The Pepperland Suite - George Martin.
6. What should I do with my life? Don't Kill the Whale - Yes.
7. Will I ever have children? Elected - Alice Cooper.
8. What is some good advice for me? Stay with me 'till dawn - Judie Tzuke.
9. How will I be remembered? I could feel you - Judie Tzuke.
10. What is my signature dance song? You are my heaven - Roberta Flack.
11. What do I think my current theme song is? Find my love - Fairground Attraction.
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? No one ever do - Vinegar Joe.
13. What song will play at my funeral? No easy road - Wishbone Ash.
14. What type of women do I like? Little blond plaits - Chris Rea.
15. What is my day going to be like? Coisich, a Ruin - Capercaillie.
16. Will I ever have love again? Siempre hay Esperanza - Sade.
17. What type of sex life do I have? Take it all - Judie Tzuke.
18. What song would be the title of my own porno movie? Tonto - Rosie Vela.
19. When having sex, what would you like to have? Wings on my heels - Eddi Reader.
20. Where would you like to have sex? Fields of gold - Eva Cassidy.

Oh the shame of it...

The previous post was too annoying. I have moved it to my other blog.
This is the price I paid for 'messing' with Arggggghh it hurts!

The Performer...

And now, courtesy of the brilliant & capable Jen at Casual Slack, the Performer...

The Blogger.

I am just a poor boy and my posts' are seldom read
I have squandered all my freetime for a pocketful of comments, some are promises
All lies and jest, still the man reads what he wants to read
And disregards the rest, hmmmm

When I made my blog and profile, I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the glow of the phosphor screen, typin' scared
Laying low, seeking out the clever bloggers, where the brilliant people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Li la li...

Asking only for opinion, I come lookin' for a guest, but I get no offers
Just a come on from the staff at lovely payperpost
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there...

Now the firstyear has rolled by me, they are knockin' even me
I am older than I once was, and younger than I'll be, that's not unusual
No it isn't strange, after changes upon changes, we are more or less the same
After Beta we are more or less the same

Li la li...

And I'm uploading my draft posts, wishing they were done, clickin' done
Hoping the new york city bloggers are readin' me, leadin' me to go on...

In the clearing stands a blogger, and a writer by his trade
And he carries the reminders of every quip that laid him down or cut him
til' he cried out in his anger and his hurt
I am leaving, I am leaving, but the blogger still remains
Yet he still remains

Li la li...

Maximum respect to Paul Simon.

As requested. NOW.

The Model is Marcus Schenkenberg, his website is here.

A question of balance.

To restore a little balance, hopefully with Mr. Dick Small's permission, I present Nick Lachey.

This image was originally posted in a comment on Casual Slack. I re-post while I research some more photographs of Marcus Schenkenberg as requested by Mr. Small.

P.S. Dick is holding Nick's kilt.

My New Book...

My new book is in bargain bins today. Here is an excerpt.

I remember sitting in the dark, the lights had fused on that Saturday night.The room was beautifully lit by my 24 inch widescreen LCD panel. On the screen was a great blog with one of her classic posts of all time . . . Casual Slack, funny, witty and with a surgical incision of sarcasm.

She was on fire, an exceptional talent hidden away in the Metropolis that is Rhode Island.
I read her post laughing out loud, and then looked to the comments. They loved her. They lauded her with congratulations and cheered at her genius.

I entered my comment offering her a chance to earn $1,000,000. All she need do is act as a witness to the transaction from Mr Obseku Kayanga's (deceased) account with the Bank of Nigeria. Just send me $1000 to cover my costs, I said, and I will deposit the $1,000,000 in your account soonest. All this comes with a free prescription of the penis enlargement drug of your choice. How can you lose I said?